the emotional turmoil seems to be calming down at last and my head is beginning to clear somewhat. Now I’m just exhausted from it all. On the positive side, I’ve just started reading Life of the Buddha by Sherab Chodzin and it is really wonderful to read it, like a balsam (? is this the correct word in english?) for my mind (heh, almost said soul!). It just transported me to that time, almost felt like I was walking there with him… :) And what stands out the most at this time, is the repetition of the core teachings - what has arisen will cease. He says this again and again. In my current turmoil this seems to be a very apt teaching - all of this turmoil is exactly because I can’t seem to let go… Still, seeing how much I just don’t want to let go seems to be quite useful as well. :)