painful
Posted by Clarity on 21 Dec 2006 at 07:57 am | Tagged as: Buddhism
You know, sometimes I don’t know which is more painful, following your neurotic patterns or not following them!
The quote from Trungpa Rinpoche keeps coming to my mind: “It is better not to have started this path at all, but if you do, it’s better to finish it!”
I think this is sometimes that many practitioners come to think from time to time: “oh why, oh why did I start this bloody thing at all!” 
I can totally identify with that.
I just love Pema Chodron - she always puts her finger right on the point
What if upon unpeeling yourself from the flypaper of samsara, that all you want is a wife, children and maybe, just maybe (God, pleaze, no) an SUV? What if the emptiness of the five skandha’s that Shariputra proclaimed as empty was seen as empty, and love or agape was the ether that should suffuse it from its despair? Then suppose, an individual as there are individuals in annica and anatta, was prone to depression, a biochemical imbalance of seratonin. He could find all the love for others, and even in the petty exchanges of ego jousting between friends. But, when he came to himself open and unarmed he saved none of the sweetness; he knew that there is nothing or no one behind that curtain of causality, no ego, no eternal self, just that watcher seeing destiny unfold between breaths. Just neurons flairing and reflecting other excited neurons. And maybe these neurons could sense the despair in humanity and would neither reflect nor ejaculate any more light. Then when the dust was lifted just for a moment behind these orbs, when air became alive with dancing lights, he became oh so tired of the only game in town. What then? How does the tin man find his heart?
Yes, that is exactly what I think. Why, oh why…
…will you come over this weekend?