Clarity’s blog

This heart of mine
bursts into thousand pieces
showering the world with shrapnels
of basic goodness.

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All these dramas of mine,
have as much substance,

as an owl’s fart
in the midnight’s sky

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I’ve also put on Google Video the previous piece the TV did on our group and on shamatha meditation. Enjoy!
Mixture of Slovene and English.

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The interview I mentioned before aired yesterday on our TV. It actually turned out quite ok as they didn’t include my more awkward answers. Unfortunately, it’s only in Slovene. But you do get to see a bit how my apartment looks like. :))
Oh, and me as a monk with Ani Pema! If your recognize me that is.

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This is just so precious:

I used to read about dharma and other good advices for living and think of other people that should have read them so they would change their ways. Now I read those sentences and am happy I’ve read them so I can change my ways.

from Autumn

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Can you imagine how the world would look like if there was nothing wrong with you?

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There is no ego to destroy,
there never was and
never will be,

just smile
and kiss the world.

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Even through flaming infernos or seas of razor-sharp blades,
Search for the Dharma until you die.

I need this kind of determination.

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I’ve just been feeling so tired for the last week or so, I just somehow don’t seem to be able to get any real rest.
I need to learn how to rest in the moments that I have available and not hope for any longer periods of downtime, because it just doesn’t seem to be coming for some time. First exam in my new psychotherapy study is coming soon, we’re finishing our new website for our Shambhala group, in the middle of December we have a major program happening that we still need to prepare things for, write advertisements for it, publish them,…
And of course I’d like to find some time for this new “someone” in my life, at least a few hours once a week would be quite nice.
Of course, there’s that pesky thing of going to work as well.
All in all, quite a challenge.
How on earth people manage to do all this and on top of that have families and children I really have no clue. Must be some special siddhi (power) that I haven’t been introduced to yet.

At least for now I hope the interview season is over - in the last few weeks I had interviews for Vecer magazine, for a show on Kanal A TV called E+, and just this morning for a national TV documentary show Labyrinth. They are doing a documentary on Buddhism and came to film how does a “regular Buddhist” live. First time a TV was in my apartment. At least I got off my lazy bum and cleaned the place a bit.
The show will be aired on next Tuesday, at 6pm on channel 2 of RTV SLO.
Of course, now all I can think of is how much better I could’ve answered the questions. just label it “thinking” and let it go. it is what is is. Next time it will be different.
Hehehehe.

Oh, and Luka published an interview with me that we did over email some time ago. It’s interesting to see how I answer the same questions quite differently. Somehow this interview seems to have a much sharper tone than I usually have. No idea why. : )

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The main thing the Buddha discovered was that he could be himself–one hundred percent, completely. He did not invent meditation; there was nothing particularly to invent. The Buddha, “the awakened one,” woke up and realized that he did not have to try to be something other than what he was. So the complete teaching of Buddhism is how to re-discover who we are.

Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche

For me, this is just a really really powerful statement.

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There is no time to be cowards anymore,
no time to wallow in self-pity,
to moan and cry about how terrible we are,

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Within the first level of Shambhala teachings, we are developing ourselves in order to reclaim fully our inheritance as humans… The Buddhist teachings assume that we are already individuals who are sane, who understand how to be confident, and who know how to work with our mind. Because it is so arduous, one must have a healthy sense of self, a strong grounding in sanity, and stability of mind to travel on the Buddhist path.”

Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche

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Today a dear friend, Wangmo, is entering into a traditional three year, three month, three day retreat in the Kagyu tradition, under the guidance of Tai Situ Rinpoche.
I think she is probably the first Slovenian to enter into this kind of retreat, and when she finishes, she will be a first Slovenian lama.
To me, I have to say, it’s still quite unbelivable that she’s actually doing it.
She’s incredibly brave and completely devoted.
May her retreat go without too many obstacles, and may her efforts and realization bring relief and liberation to innumerable sentient beings!

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Sometimes I’m quite surprised with the meditation instructions I come up with.
Like just now, I was talking to a student who is going through some rough time in her life and is avoiding meditation and anything to do with practice.
So as we talked we came up with the next plan: for the next week, her discipline is going to be to absolutely avoid any meditation practice whatsoever.
And during the day she should try to be as unmindful as possible.
If by any chance she should let go of her unmindfulness discipline and should get even an inkling that she should sit, she should immediately apply her discipline and not give in to temptation.
I’m quite curios as to how it’ll go.

What do you think about why I gave her this instruction?

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i’ve just spent a very nice afternoon with my new friend. even though it is of course still samsara, nevertheless, there’s nothing wrong with a bit of happiness in my life. :)))
I think the problem only comes when you think that a new relationship (or whatever else) is going to save you, or make your problems go away. If however you’re aware that it’s samsara, still just dreams and illusions, what is there preventing you to just enjoy it?

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