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We’ve just finished our weekly group practice, we’ve been doing shamatha practice and compassion practice. The latter one brought up a lot of emotions for the majority of us. It’s quite amazing what just a few minutes of this kind of practice can bring up.
It left me quite raw, partly from my own experience, partly from the experience of others. When one touches his/her heart, it spreads, you can’t pretend nothing happened, can’t hide it because everyone feels it.
It’s hard to stay with this rawness of the heart, both painful and joyfull, or perhaps full is a better term. I didn’t want my friends to go, didn’t want to be left alone, yet I couldn’t ask them to stay. I somehow just felt the need to share this feeling with another human being, not to make it go away, or change it, but just to stay with someone else in that space.
Broken-hearted I think is another good term to describe it. Makes me fall in love with the world, with the sounds and music and the wooden tiles on the floor of my room.
Yet, this too will pass.