cologne
Posted by Clarity on 11 Jan 2006 at 06:19 am | Tagged as: Personal
I’m off to the beautiful city of Cologne, to do a teacher’s training. I’ve been freaking out about it for a while, it’s amazing what kinds of things come up regarding this kind of thing. All my insecurities, doubts, emotions of all kinds tend to get stirred up and it’s quite a feast. Last one I did was very good, yet also probably the hardest and most exhausting program I’ve ever done. So, while I’m looking forward to it, i’m also a bit apprehensive.
The words of Cheri Huber’s teacher kept coming to my mind as I was preparing: “You will do for others, what you would never do for yourself”.
I would’ve quit a thousand times if it were not for this silly heart that I carry that wants to offer itself to others.
It’s always amazing to me how silly one’s worries are after the event has passed. I also get nervous before major events, and as soon as it’s over I think to myself “I can’t believe how worked up this made me.” Needless to say, it doesn’t stop me from getting anxious again…
Wishing you plenty of strength for your journey!
I miss you already, Clarity!
your journal here is bhodi beautiful. I am on the web, the “inner net” looking for a good sanskrit definition of bhoddichitta. i came up with my own in my mind ( the river of mental moments) : bhoddi chitta: wisdom and chi energy. instead of cussing/ wrong language to myself of even others I replace the cuss word with the word: chi. like, “that (f-ing )chi-ing driver cut me off!” its all energy and it works! i am tapping into my more universally positive mind. thank you for your kind words and sharing. i am on a similiar cycle or samsara and path through and in it. it is not seperate it is the noble truth. if you are ever in SF, CA, USA come see us at the SF Zen Center.
amitabha Tony
Manual Trackback. This post is cited in Blogmandu, Roundup for Dec 19 - Jan 14 [Part 3 of 4].
michael: very true… I mean I was only giving 2 short talks in front of a group of friends, who were there to help me and not to criticize me. Not a big deal, right?
I was sorry to not see you at the blogmeet in Ljubljana, I was very much looking forward to finally meeting you!