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feeling kinda depressed today. Went to a farewell party last night for a fellow civil soldier
here… I don’t know what is with me and parties, but I just find them totally
boring. People getting drunk and making fools of themselves, I mean what is the point
in that? And then of course I think something must be wrong with me, because everyone else
seems to be enjoying themselves. Old feelings of loneliness and being out of place came up pretty
strong. Thoughts of Trungpa Rinpoche kept coming up and his insistent talking about
aloneness, how important it is. I could never quite get what was he talking about
and I still can’t… Feeling mad and sad at the moment.
So, what to do? Wallow in it, oh, poor me who’s at the mercy of these horrible feelings,
or is there something else?
Found this quote from Trungpa Rinpoche on the net:

“When you walk into this world of reality, the greater or cosmic world, you will find the way to rule your world - but, at the same time, you will also find a deep sense of aloneness. It is possible that this world could become a palace or a kingdom to you, but as its king or queen, you will be a monarch with a broken heart. It is not a bad thing to be, by all means. In fact, it is the way to be a decent human being - and beyond that a glorious human being who can help others.”

Chogyam Trungpa, Shambhala - The Sacred Path of the Warrior, Shambhala, Boston & London, 1988, p. 142.

I’ve lately heard Ani Pema talk about tasting, hearing,
touching, smelling your emotions. Hmm… How on earth does one do that??
taste depression? yucky thought!