friendfeed
Posted by Clarity on 12 May 2008 | Tagged as: Personal
I’m trying out FriendFeed, maybe some of you will find it useful as well - it collects all (well, most) my online activity in one place.
Tags: friendfeed
twittering
Posted by Clarity on 10 May 2008 | Tagged as: Personal
Heya all, sorry for the very light blogging lately, ever since I’ve started using Twitter more my blogging has been kinda blocked… I’ll look into integrating it into this blog more, but until then If you’re interested follow me there. 
It’s funny, when I first heard about Twitter I really didn’t get it, I just couldn’t understand why anyone would use it… Not really sure what changed, except that the girl got on it and it was a nice way of staying in touch. And then lately some other people started following me or me them, and I started to really enjoy what they were saying.
It is kinda strange to have people follow me, that I don’t really know, don’t know if they know me, or how they found me. Davee seems to feel the same. But also sometimes quite interesting and fun!
Blogged with the Flock Browser
Tags: personal, technology, twitter
emptiness
Posted by Clarity on 08 Apr 2008 | Tagged as: Personal, Buddhism
This feeling of sadness,
this feeling of loss,
this feeling of betrayal,
This feeling of care,
this feeling of love,
this feeling of compassion,
This feeling of understanding,
this feeling of hatred,
This feeling of revenge,
this love itself and the hate itself,
are all empty, illusions of appearance.
Just rest in this understanding,
O distressed Robert,
Just rest and relax.
It is all ok.
(from Clarity of the Heart to the one known as Robert who tends to suffer quite needlessly)
Posted by Clarity on 24 Mar 2008 | Tagged as: Personal
This is the end you know
Lady, the plans we had went all wrong
We ain’t nothing but fight and shout and tears
We got to a point I can’t stand
I’ve had it to the limit; I can’t be your man
I ain’t more than a minute away from walking
We can’t cry the pain away
We can’t find a need to stay
I slowly realized there’s nothing on our side
Out of my life, Out of my mind
Out of the tears that we can’t deny
We need to swallow all our pride
And leave this mess behind
Out of my head, Out of my bed
Out of the dreams we had, they’re bad
Tell them it’s me who made you sad
Tell them the fairytale gone bad
Another night and I bleed
They all make mistakes and so did we
But we did something we can never turn back right
Find a new one to fool
Leave and don’t look back. I won’t follow
We have nothing left. It’s the end of our time
We can’t cry the pain away
We can’t find a need to stay
There’s no more rabbits in my hat to make things right
Out of my life, Out of my mind
Out of the tears we can’t deny
We need to swallow all our pride
And leave *THIS mess behind
Out of my head, Out of my bed
Out of the dreams we had, they’re bad
Tell them it’s me who made you sad
Tell them the fairytale gone bad
(Sunrise Avenue - Fairytale gone bad)
You know, if I’d spent as much time practicing as I am wallowing around in these love dramas of mine, I’d be enlightened by now…
Well, I sure hope this current one is finally finished…
on relationships
Posted by Clarity on 13 Mar 2008 | Tagged as: Shambhala
if relationships are setups to complete us, we never actually relate
to another human being, and what they need, what they are, we
are only looking at what we need.
Judith Simmer Brown
via Danny Fisher
Trungpa Rinpoche in latest Rambo
Posted by Clarity on 05 Feb 2008 | Tagged as: Shambhala, Buddhism
Well, I think Rinpoche would have quite a laugh about this (look at the left guys arm):
Rambo: (L-R) Reese (Jake La Botz), Diaz (Rey Gallegos) and Lewis (Graham McTavish) - MovieWeb
A better picture of the same arm:
(via Corpus Mmothra)
Digital Tibetan Buddhist Altar: UNDEFEATED GENERALS
Posted by Clarity on 28 Jan 2008 | Tagged as: Buddhism
Digital Tibetan Buddhist Altar: UNDEFEATED GENERALS
Dakini, schmakini… this or that rinpoche… who recognized who… it is just an absolute waste of time… it doesn’t matter. What matters is the ability to use a broken heart for the benefit of others.
Now, I am not sure how for real this is, but it definitely makes for an interesting reading… As straight as it goes, I’d say…
calming down
Posted by Clarity on 17 Jan 2008 | Tagged as: Personal
the emotional turmoil seems to be calming down at last and my head is beginning to clear somewhat. Now I’m just exhausted from it all. On the positive side, I’ve just started reading Life of the Buddha by Sherab Chodzin and it is really wonderful to read it, like a balsam (? is this the correct word in english?) for my mind (heh, almost said soul!). It just transported me to that time, almost felt like I was walking there with him… And what stands out the most at this time, is the repetition of the core teachings - what has arisen will cease. He says this again and again. In my current turmoil this seems to be a very apt teaching - all of this turmoil is exactly because I can’t seem to let go… Still, seeing how much I just don’t want to let go seems to be quite useful as well.
emotional turmoil
Posted by Clarity on 15 Jan 2008 | Tagged as: Personal, Buddhism
Sigh… In lots of emotional turmoil again. 
That’s one thing that one hopes will go away with meditation. Well, it does not, at least not in the way one would think. There’s still reactivity, still pain, despair and all the emotions, but what seems to change slowly is that more and more it just becomes the content and not what one is. So, at the moment this is my practice - just watching these thoughts, this pain, hatred, regret, anger,… And I try to remind myself that there is nothing to fix, nothing to change, just let it flow through. The ideas from the previous post have been very helpful.
So… It goes like this…
This feeling of abandoment is not me, is not myself, is not mine,
these thoughts that I will never ever be loved, that this is just further proof how unlovable I am - they are not me, not myself, not mine,
this pain in my heart is not me, not myself, not mine,
this anger towards you burning in my eyes is not me, not myself, not mine,
this anger towards me that I played along with your games for so long - is not me, not myself, not mine,
these thoughts of wanting to hurt you, expose your ugliness for the whole world to see - not me, not myself, not mine,
these thoughts that I was just a toy to you, discarded when you got bored - not me, not myself, not mine,
this regret for every thought of love and kindness I had for you - not me, not myself, not mine,
this regret for all the effort I’ve put in this relationship - is not me, not myself, not mine,
these thoughts of wanting to never ever seeing you again - not me, not myself, not mine,
…
it goes on and on as you can imagine. All I can do at the moment is just be patient and let this chaos slowly dissolve on its own. And in the mean time, not act on anything, not believe anything in my head and muster every last straw of loving kindness and compassion I have for this human being, just a human being… But real or not, it just fucking hurts…
(supportive comments welcome, any holier than thou advice will be promptly deleted and your IP banned)
not mine, am not I, this is not my self
Posted by Clarity on 15 Jan 2008 | Tagged as: Buddhism
“Now what do you think, brethren, is body permanent or impermanent?”
“Impermanent, Lord.”
“And is the impermanent painful or pleasant?”
“Painful, Lord.”
“Then what is impermanent, painful, and unstable by nature, is it
fitting to consider as, ‘this is mine, this am I, this is my
self’?”
“Surely not, Lord.”
“So also is it with feeling, perception, the activities, and consc-
iousness. Therefore, brethren, every body whatever, be it past, future,
or present, be it inward or outward, gross or subtle, lowly or eminent,
far or near–every body should be thus regarded, as it really is, by right
insight–’this is not mine; this am not I; this is not my self.’
“Every feeling whatever, every perception whatever, all activities
whatsoever, every consciousness whatever [must likewise be so regarded].
Samyutta Nikaya iii.68
enlightenment,wisdom and merit
Posted by Clarity on 03 Jan 2008 | Tagged as: Buddhism
Shambhala Sun - Approaching the Guru
To cut a long story short, if you want enlightenment you need wisdom. If you want wisdom, you must have merit. And to have merit, according to mahayana, you must have compassion and bodhichitta, the wish to establish beings in the state of freedom.
Daniel Goleman on compassion
Posted by Clarity on 03 Jan 2008 | Tagged as: Buddhism
This is a very interesting talk by Daniel Goleman on compassion:
http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/200
It seems that the new social neuroscience is confirming what Buddhists have been saying for quite a while longer - compassion is inherent in us as human beings, but we manage to cover it over, or turn it off. What do we need to do to get back in touch with it? Stop and notice. Very interesting to be hearing these things from a psychologist. Recommended!
health update …
Posted by Clarity on 02 Jan 2008 | Tagged as: Personal
well, it seems i’ve gotten through the worse part, back on my feet it seems… At least as far as my lungs are concerned, as for the other infection I still need to go have some tests done and we’ll see how it goes after that. But I feel tons better so that is something to celebrate!
